Are You Free?

Look Around yourself. Ask yourself, Is everything okay? Does your concept of the american dream really looks attainable? If so, Does getting to your american dream consist of letting go who you are and where you come from? Is it worth it? Would you leave people you love behind because they arent in the same path as your dream?  Are you really happy in consuming such materials?  Can you really say that your value is your bank account?  Are you okay with having cops or army men in every place you visit in this city?  Do all youth need to be classified as criminals and searched before entering school in the morning?  As a young person, are you doing the right thing?  Do you really think your parents have something against you? Can you really say that those that say are your friends will really be there when real life situations pop off? Must you really follow and be like everyone else?  Can you really say that you are unique? Is it really fair that because some of us are poor we get less quality in regards to medical attention and education? Just because we are poor does that mean we have to live in a dirty place? Do you really think it necessary for POLICE to have to speak to everyone with disregard?  Should there be a better code of the streets?  Cant someone be a street person and still be a lovable family person?  Is it really necessary to consider people in prison as low life and slaves?  Would you ever see yourself in a jail cell?  What is really important to you?  Are we really living in a just system? 

Just put the iPod, ipad iPhone or android down for a minute.  Ask yourself any question that comes to mind.  See if what you think is reality is really what you are living. Consider all the facts and opinions you have ever heard.  Then analyze everything and tell yourself that you are living free!  See if you feel FREE! 

Doubt it?

Shadow S. Light

Right to be anonymous to the government

I can be discreet about who I am. I can hide what am about to do. Thats my freedom, my ever protected privacy. I evolve, grow and mature with my own thoughts and ingenuity. Culture adds perspective to my existence. I have the right to be unknown to you.    But you watch my every idea. Documenting, storing and corupting every essence of my idealogy.  You watch my presence in an ever paranoid intention. Preparing documents to disqualify my privacy and protection.  You add fear and desperation to my way. Creating a subculture of my fame. Kaos becomes of my existence. While terror becomes my distinction. But one day you will understand. I am more that just flesh of woman and man.  I am unity, I am purity. Providence is my weapon anonymous my intention and Freedom my everlasting motivation.

Shadow S. Light

Who said we cant re-occupy the Hood! Old Poor meet the New Poor

Who said we can’t re-occupy the Hood!

Old Poor meet the New Poor

For ages (seems to be) generations after generations of the hood have talked about how White and economically comfortable Black and Latino people are slowly moving in to their neighborhoods and by way of having better income gentrify those very neighborhoods.  Now these same whites and economically comfortable Blacks and Latinos are in the same position we poor people have been for years.  Corporate control over politics and policy has created a new era of two classes, The RICH and the POOR.  The once vibrant middle class is no longer.  This has caused these same whites and now a day economically comfortable Blacks and Latinos to take up the struggle that was once only spoken about the poor people of this country.  The once middle class has moved with a non violent force and occupied the thoughts of all people in the United States and made the world understand who this great power is doing business with in their very backyard. This new awakening of corporate control over public policy and politics has in my opinion, bridge that very gap created by classism in the United States.  Finally we are being showed that those uppity Whites, Blacks and Latinos were able to feel what us poor people felt for ages.  The shit is that they felt it for way’ less time we have and they got together and did something about it quick and effectively.  Not only did they do something about it but they also realized that we have been here talking and feeling this for years and have accepted that most of them lost connections from where they came from and open the door for us to become part of this movement.  The same economic conditions created by these big corporations open their eyes to our struggles and helped them align themselves with us.  Just like the most respected and feared G in the hood wakes up and changes after doing a 25 to life bid so did the middle class by getting dropped and used, just as we poor people have been by the corporations. 

The same hood has spoken about how the NYPD gang has become a force of fear and intimidation instead of a public agency of servitude and protection for that same public.  How they violently and oppressively have taken over our streets and civil liberties.  Unfortunately that has been all we have been doing for years, TALK.  The new poor (formerly middle class) has not only addressed the same issues we face but with conviction showed the world that NYPD has no right to stop civilians from their day to day civil liberties, and by no means can disrupt our constitutional rights as American citizens.  We all saw how they step to NYPD and even went toe to toe no matter the injury, arrest or harassment of personal space in recent months.   As all this takes place as I commute from borough to borough and all I hear in stores, barbershops, train stations, buses and even jail visits is still the same TALK.  I hear “Occupy has done this”, “700 occupy people got locked up in the BK Bridge”, “Its crazy how the system can’t feed people and Occupy Wall Street feeds all them people everyday”.

The hood and ALL its peeps needs to stop talking and rise up alongside occupy Wall Street.  I have personally been in G.A. Meetings, Spokes council meetings and have seen the numbers of our people rise steadily and slowly.  I can say that although there still is some social habit, those same people after being confronted notice they still have those prejudices and openly ask for groups to close those gaps and be more inclusive for the poor, no internet having, no education wanting, welfare going (LIKE ME), Blacks, Latinos and poor whites of New York.  But yet most of us poor people still don’t understand why the Occupy Movement is doing what they do and what is the power or energy that drives them to do in action what we the stepped on, always lackin’, ever mackin’ poor only talk about should happen. 

In my opinion this “new poor”, ever energetic mixture of people has come to the understanding that a system that promotes democracy and then with the same disdain takes away from the rights given by that same democracy should by all means be stepped to and fixed.  Fixed not by the means of a “new commission” appointed by those same corporate puppets but by the people they say and falsely promote they represent.  In fact, the occupy movement has been struggling to erase, eradicate or stop doing (however you want to say) by way of consensus, the fact that one person on top of it all makes a decision for the whole people he/she represents.  Which means that if the occupy movement is more successful and the thoughts of a people in this generation changes. We could possibly find ourselves talking more effectively.  A conversation that begins in barbershops, or street corners or even in jail cells, then becomes a conversation talking about issues directly in front of those we voted to put in office. This proving to be a process that actually creates a real way to keep them fools to their words.  Hey maybe voting can become something that actually counts for something. 

But for that to be real effective and for the hood to feel really included,  We the poor of this city, state, country and the world need to stop poppin’ the lip, start moving the hip and become part of this Occupy Movement.  You might feel you have no place, or that people might not understand your intentions. Guest what! I even seen that, as long as your ideas, beliefs and needs can be inclusive with everyone in the movement and it’s inclusive, consensus way it has grown from.  You are just as important as Sally from White Plains NY or in the same class many of the many Rich folks that have given up their way to show that we all should be in one class.  The Human class!

Be Real! Re-occupy YOUR Hood!   

Our Children are being Caged in the Name of Democracy

           More to often we see young blacks and latino become victims of the Prison Industrial Complex. A system that has put into place certain political actions that create economic disadvantages and barriers on rightful resources. Our community tends to feed into this down play that these politicians have on our youth and their lively hood. looking down on them and stereotyping them as criminals when in reality they are bored, outcast by their teachers and regarded as disruptive kids. The mere reality is that the poor conditions of their surroundings are the cause and effect of their mental and emotional outbursts. 
          Our Youth today have become main stream targets for corporate exploitation and political clout. A teen that doesnt get a fair education and is exposed to all the glamour that corporate media portrays becomes trapped with the want to have or be someone he or she only saw on tv. Since fair education wasnt available this teen can only think of a quick way to get to that glamor. Thus, you have your youth entering into criminal activity. Since the adult population is either no longer interested in these new trend of style and no longer pursue those wants. The adults no longer become targets for human storage at the prison complex and the attention is put on the youth of today. They commit crimes on each other for a few meager bucks just to buy what those corporations are promoting. Becoming enchanted with dreams of having more than or being more than others. 
         With laws like the patriot act which ad more time to youth crimes and classify them as terrorist. The suburban communities whose main income is the correctional facilities built in them, now can secure their lively hood by receiving the funding these youth bring to their communities. Fundings that could have been for where these youth really live. But since they are housed in a rural community somewhere upstate which becomes their residence. These counties in turn get those fundings for the bodies they have wharehoused as residents of their counties and thrive as a community. Thus, the political clout that caging our youths brings to politicians.
         Our Youth have become a capitalistic pawn to secure the rural lively hood in upstate new york. Then they are disenfranchised on voting when they return in order to further secure that capitalistic democracy that put in place the Prison Industrial Complex in the first place. 
      Lots of people ask what help me changed. The fact that a white red neck
correctional officer told me that i was job security for him because he new that by me being in prison would influence my son on going their as well.         Support Kendal

Shadow S. Light

The world attacks higher Learning

      As the united states Prison industrial complex increases, economy gets worse and war is made priority over education. Students fight steadily for the rights towards a secured future and a chance to make a difference and possibly change how governments and policy makers are running the U.S. and the world for that matter.
       The British government, United States government and the Colonialist Federal government in Puerto Rico do not believe that our students can make a difference.  Maybe they don't want it that way since they are using measures that will not only hurt the possibility of poor students to have a fair chance at higher education. But increase the the chance that their prison systems continue to grow.
         This is exactly what will happen when a generation of student in the future see that becoming a professional is twice as hard as making easier money on the streets.  Poor economical situations is known to be a mayor cause for stress.  We all know that a society full of stress only begets violent results.  Generations that find it harder to gain professional careers will definitely turn to a easier much less productive way of life.  Students in New York, Puerto Rico and England have decided to take up the fight not only for their generation but for generations to come.  Tuition hikes as much as triple its current amount in England from $4,700 to about $14,700 clearly shows how the English parliament looks forward to their growing future. In New York tuition will spike up to $500 per semester.  The Colonial Federal government in Puerto Rico will raise their tuition per semester 4 time from $200 to $800.
         Most definitely this undermines any countries talks of "No child left behind" or an equal opportunity for education.  There is no way that by increasing the chances for our society to fail can we become a world of peace and prosperity.  The elects on top must step back reflect and see that it isn't society causing the problem but their very own personal agenda or conservative ways of life that will hurt the very essence they fight to protect.  The providence of an ever emerging country.

Shadow S. Light

Who said its too late! (Knowing Shadow)

I am a 33 year old Boricua man who has live every side that life can throw at a person.  I have been a gang member, drug dealer, inmate, dishwasher, security guard, truck helper, truck driver, youth coordinator, Youth program director and finally community researcher at Columbia University.  Not including my ventures as a son, brother, stepfather and father in that same order.  My surroundings did not allow me to understand the full extent of my abilities and talents.  My decision making had to be on sheer survival.  Anything I chose to do had to be done with only one thing in mind, Survive!  These decision brought consequences, consequences which always made me question how I got myself in those situations. I was sure I wasn’t that type of person to want to be in trouble all the time, or worried all the time.  I just knew there had to be another side of life but didn’t understand why I couldn’t see it.  I mean, jeesh' who really wants to be in a situation where you see you mom selling everything from your home.  Only to find out that she was smoking that money in crack.  I am pretty sure I didn’t ask to become a gang member, or even become a drug dealer and sell the same substance which destroyed my mother's life.  Like who does that?  

            As I became older my problems became more difficult to analyze before deciding my actions.  I kept getting deeper in a life that made me fearful, desperate and angry. But never really saw why.  My decision of getting some quick money after my mom lost us to the Children Aid Society was the grand opening of all wrong decisions.  I went to jail for the first time and still I blamed every one.  I didn’t understand that my choices were what got me there in the first place.  After about 7 months fighting the case I am released under the supervision of as probation officer.  Another Boricua whom like me didn’t understand anything about what was going around him becoming a problem to our community instead of trying to become a solution.  Here is where I saw the real reason why that man sold the drugs that my mom used and why his way of life became mine.  

             I found myself in a system that allowed policies to command common sense and used stressed out staff to further stress out those considered criminals.  While in probation I was told I couldn't study because I needed to work. When I asked why, my probation officer told me that his superiors told him what to do and in turn he told me what to do.  Since I already was sentence with a felony I began having trouble finding work.  After becoming a monster in jail I figured I do my very best to stay out of jail.  I enlisted in a program which it's very name implied I was court mandated, Cases.  All though this program was not very well managed and at times I found myself walking to it without car fare.  I took my G.E.D. exam and passed it with flying colors.  My counselor seeing my grades, advice that I should try for a college since my grades were so good.  After a couple of months in college I had to drop out because I couldn’t afford going to it.  My financial aid didn’t cover so I did what everyone in my days would do when things went wrong. I went to the street to find some piece of mind.  Since the stress of the streets helped me forget any situations i went through.

             After about 5 months with a good streak in the corner I finally got caught and right to jail I went.  Luckily I have been smart enough to remember how the legal aid didn’t help the last time so I researched my own case and by the grace of God got my probation reinstated and came home after 4 months of deliberations. After a couple of months in the street I got a job at a local bodega in which I worked for three years.  The manager of the store owed so much money and hardly ever kept the store up to par. Finally the store closes and I saw myself left in the same place I once was.  Back in the corner selling drugs again.  We all know where i ended.

             Throughout all this deal I noticed that while I as an individual struggled to make ends meet and my community continued to fill the jails big companies were still finding a way to get the money they needed from this same community.  Didn’t know really how to put my finger on it, but I definitely felt something wasn’t right.  I felt that no matter how hard I tried some type of barrier kept me from doing what I wanted.  While doing this last bid is when I noticed that the feeling of blaming someone was right.  I just wasn’t blaming the right people.  My last term in jail which lasted 3 months fighting the case and 6 months in a military boot camp like program called shock, define me for the rest of my life.  This program denied its participants the right to TV and news.  I saw myself able to look at myself deeper and fix those imperfections which made others not like me.  I was able to believe that I had some type of talent or able to attain some kind of skill.  It wasn’t the program that worked on me. Really there is no way that a Correctional officer wonna be Drill sergeant screaming at anyone’s face could help that person change.  The fact that I had no TV and or news in my face all the time and no flashy ads around helped me realize what I had in myself and what I had left behind.  

            My experience in shock was not really a good one. From carrying a giant cigarette for being a non smoker on a smoke break, or the huge eyeball I carried for looking at another prison woman in Lakeview, and the many other mental abuses made very uncomfortable for me. Although it really didn’t play a toll since I was so amused with myself and my new found ability to question why.  While everyone took every chance they got to feed their media addiction I found ways to teach myself something constructive so I would have some type of tools when I got out of prison.  

          My wife made every effort to keep us close by coming to every single visit.  Seeing her support me with so much enthusiasm must have sparked something in my family because they also came up to see me and my father even sent me a letter with a ten dollar bill in it.  Everything became what I needed right when I knew what I had to do.  Coming home was a big event for the family.  They planned a surprise welcome party, a party that I knew my wife had something to do with.  Goals were in order and i set in motion my first plan of becoming the new me.  Although driving is something I enjoy driving a truck wasn’t what I saw myself doing.  But past events had taught me that I should play the ball this society through at me.  Using some information I attained while being in shock I enrolled in a drug program which in turn I used to confirm my addiction to marijuana.  This was all I needed to be able to have Vesid pay my way through truck driving school and have me on my way to a job which paid a little more than minimum wage.  My network which once was seen as a gang also was in the very first step to transitioning into a grass roots organization.  Becoming active in this was very important to me since helping my community is exactly what I wanted to do.  Thanks to La Asociacion Pro Derechos Del Confinado or Asociacion Ñeta as it is known I became a youth coordinator and soon after director of the youth program.  While working there for four years I met A Doctor in research at Columbia University who not only open his doors to me but to the whole organization as well.  Now I am a community researcher at Columbia University, a devout community activist and a father of seven children.  

          After this brief summary of my adventure in life you may wonder what is it I am trying to say.  Well this blog I decided to write will become my way to reach young, old and new people who think that the only way in life is what they are living this very moment.  A group of people whom their very government creates economic situations which make their daily lives harder than the elite 2% of this city.  People who are being targeted as a bull eyes in a dart game to score points.  Everything from voting rights violations, to poverty traps and prison warehousing is being thrown at my people, my community, and my children.  This blog post is so that you can get to know me, the others to come is so that you can see what’s around us and possibly take a stand against the point blank injustices this system is not only committing with our local community but with every black, Latino, minority and poor community abroad the United States.  Hope to have reached your interest and employed your support on my other blogs to come.  Because when what you thought was your life becomes a chaotic swirl all you need for clarity is Shadow's World!

 Shadow S. Light

   Shadow S. Light

   2010